How to Stop the Food Police

Would you like to eat without worrying about being judged? It’s time to tame the shame. It’s time to take away the whistle of the “food police”.

They may mean to be helpful. They may not even know their words are criticizing.

But even if their heart is in the right place, you need to set boundaries with these tips.

Why?

If you don’t, you will keep feeling judged. You’ll keep sneaking food to avoid the shame.

(I know. I’ve been there.)

Listen in and learn how to (kindly) Stop the Food Police.

Sugar. Ah, Honey, Honey

Summer time is lemonade time. And in the south, it’s pitchers of sweet tea on picnics.

A new connection on LI messaged me that she is decreasing the sugar she consumes by eliminating sweet tea and lemonade.

Within a day, a new client found out his A1C is almost double where it should be.

(Side note - A1C measures the average of your blood sugar over a 3 month period.  So he got really motivated to manage his sugar intake.)

A little warning: If you have diabetes or are dealing with an eating disorder, please pay attention to your health care team’s personal advice.  This article is for general information.

How do you lower your sugar intake, without getting into yo-yo dieting?

First, I wanted to see how you consume sugar.  So, this week I reached out to you on LI, IG, and FB.  (And if we aren’t connected on social - you are missing out.  So, wherever you hang out most, let’s connect.)

I asked if you tended to eat sugar, drink it , or avoid it.

Your responses were insightful.

20% drink

50% eat

20% limit

10% avoid

Comments included not consuming processed, but didn’t consider juice -- which is concentrated sugar -- as processed as long as it was fresh juice.

Someone else said they wanted to know how to have discipline and willpower with sugar - so that’s going to be part II

Why is this important?

This is sticky … so let’s be careful not to demonize sugar or make it a saint.

Let’s go to science.  

Sugar is not toxic, at least not in the sense that true poisons are dangerous.

The only health issue sugar is confirmed to cause is tooth decay.

Malnutrition, obesity, and even diabetes have not been shown to be caused directly by sugar itself.

All of these have multiple factors at play.

For example, if sugar is replacing nutrient-rich foods that your body needs, you may get the calories you need for fuel, but not the vitamins and minerals you need. That’s the essence of malnourished.

For diabetes, the evidence is conflicting and interesting.  In some populations in the world, an increase in sugar consumption has tracked with an increase in Type II diabetes.  In other populations, no relation has been found.

However, in some animal studies diets very high in sugar can cause diabetes like disease.

For obesity -- research is clear that you can gain weight whether you eat too much carb whether starch or sugar, protein, or fat.  However, because you can drink sugar, it is easier to get excess calories from processed sugar than from other sources.

What to do?

This is about understanding the principles vs. creating food rules

1.  Know the difference between sugar occurring incidentally in a whole food vs. in processed or concentrated form.

2.  Consume foods in combination.

It is not just about if the food has sugar in it.  It is about how quickly does the food digest and raise your blood sugar … and then if it makes you hungry quicker.

How does sugar fit in with IE?

Three components of IE that I teach you are eating what you really want and eating slowly, savoring your food, and stopping when you are satisfied.

If you are not following a medical diet, then try this experiment.  It is one I’ve used in workshops and with clients for years.

1.  Before you eat or drink something sweet, ask yourself “on a scale of 1-10, how much do I want this now”  and “on a scale of 1-10, how much do I want what I will feel like later”

2.  Second, pay attention to the pleasure of the food or drink.  Perhaps it is not savoring 3 bites of a brownie that is causing issues for you.  Perhaps it is eating multiple brownies, distracted while you watch YouTube videos.

3. Third, when you eat slowly you are more able to stop when you are satisfied.  3 bites might be enough.

How do you handle sugar? Let me know in the comments.

Why I Stopped Dieting

It all started because I was trying to fit in … with my family. It created a cycle of Striving. Judgement. Shame.

But also the excitement of “this diet might work” and the false-camaraderie with fellow calorie-counters.

It ended being trapped in food jail, feeling like a failure, and fearing food.

Actually, it ended with my getting free from the diet mentality to enjoy life.

I want the same for you.

The Dark Side of Dieting

“I hope this new diet will work, but …

I’m tired of trying and failing diets.”

“I’ve got this new healthy eating plan my friend tried.  I wonder if it will work for me - or if I can stick with it.”

If you have ever thought this, then today is your day to break out of food jail.

The idea of dieting, and even healthy eating, raises questions.

First, what is healthy eating, anyway?  How do you define it?  It’s different than a co-worker or friend.

And if you add weight loss as a goal, the answers to that question get even more diverse.

Second, if 95% of diets aren’t stuck with (which is a true stat), is it you that fails or is it something about dieting that doesn’t work?

Third, most important, IS there a way that actually works to improve your health and without adding stress but adding joy to your life?

Understand this: in trying to do good, you are actually doing damage.

The first diet I went on was basic calorie counting, when I was 9, to lose 2 pounds.  Simply because that’s what the women in my family did.

Following that were several other diets …

Is there hope? 

Yes.  Next week I’ll share in detail about getting free from food jail and all of the benefits.  For now, here’s the #1 benefit I’ve experienced in breaking out of food jail.  My mind is free to enjoy, experience, and live life.

I want the same for you.

How to Eat for Energy on a Long Road Trip

I’m not going to tell you exactly what to eat … that would be crazy.

But I am going to share how you should eat for energy. It does not involve living on carrot sticks. You know me better than that.

6 Reasons Why You Need to Learn to Thrive

While growing up I suspected I had developed an unhealthy relationship with food – and sometimes even exercise.  But it was years later at a work potluck Christmas party that I knew I absolutely had a problem and had to change.

Everyone else was at the buffet ooh-ing and ah-ing over different dishes colleagues brought. 

I was in the bathroom terrified. 

“If I eat that _____ I’ll have to workout extra tomorrow. Who knows how many grams of ____ it has.”

“I want to try ____ but if I do I’ll probably not be able to stop eating it. I’ll lose control.”

“I’ll be good and just have the veggies I brought.  If I break my diet I’ll be bad.”

I realized I was the only one, apparently, who did not feel she could enjoy the food, the people, or the party and I stayed as far away from the table as possible.  Why?  I thought something was inherently wrong with me. 

Truth? By that party I had spent almost 20 years fine-tuning my “diet mentality,” through the various diet and exercise rules I “learned.”

And I wanted freedom.  Desperately.

I wanted to exercise just because it felt amazing and made me strong and healthy. Not because it burned calories I’d eaten the day before.

I wanted to eat a balanced meal because it was satisfying.

I wanted to enjoy a cookie without fear of eating five.

I wanted to go to a party and enjoy it all.

Scratch that.

I didn’t even know that was possible.  All I could fathom was maybe not being consumed with worrying about every morsel, gram, or repercussion after a party.

Thankfully, that part of me is a distant memory, because …

I found my path to THRIVE.

Did you see?

I released a brand new course where I’m going to share with you the mindset, principles, techniques, tools and skills practiced by people who find – and follow – their unique path to health, wellness, and a Thriving Life.

It’s called …

THRIVE LIFE (Go here to learn more; we get started in just a few days.)

While there are so many health benefits to this way of life, the most surprising benefit has nothing to do typical health-parameters.

It has to do with relationships and accomplishing other goals.

Huh?

Let me explain.  Envision that same work party where I locked myself away in the bathroom.  If my mind had been free from food-fear, I would have been mingling with colleagues and enjoying getting to know their families, enriching my relationships.

And when my mental and emotional space is not cluttered with how many calories I eat or burn or how much I do this or that, my mind is free to be creative and pursue dreams.  Plus, there is way less stress.

Here are six reasons why you need to learn your path to THRIVE.

#1 – You stop outsourcing your emotional health to food or over-exercise

You can learn the difference between physical and emotional hunger.

Food was created to bring you pleasure, but it is not what heals hurts or brings peace.

Exercise has many ways that it lifts your mood, but there is a point of using exercise to escape struggles vs. helping you overcome them.

When you sit with discomfort and find what actually fills you emotionally, your strength of self grows.  Your confidence to live and handle difficult situations increases.

#2 – You have mental space to pursue your dreams

This one is huge.

When your mind is cluttered with searching for the next diet or exercise program, or finding recipes that fit the new fad, or shopping for the latest exercise gear you cannot focus on what really matters most to you in life.

It may even go deeper.  If you are staying focused on analyzing food / exercise to avoid dealing with something else, it is time to move forward. 

If you are hiding your best self behind counting this or that, trying to control every bite or workout, it is time to open the curtain and step out on your stage.

#3 – You have increased physical energy

You sleep well, you wake up with energy, and it stays consistent throughout the day so you can accomplish your goals and still enjoy family and friends at the end of the day.

#4 – Your ability to enforce boundaries, with yourself and others, improves

Food police?  Exercise drill sergeant? No more.  Either from others or yourself.

You confidently handle critics.

You also are able to tell yourself “no” when a choice does not value you.

#5 – You have more fun and are more fun to be around

When your excitement comes from discussing the latest fad exercise or diet, it is a boring life.

However, when you have recent adventures or a book you read or a funny family gathering or ____ to talk about, conversations have life in them.

You meet up with people, confident as you accept yourself and others, with less judgement.

Social situations around food are no longer stressful.

You have the physical fitness to enjoy the adventures you want.

#6 – You feel successful, because you are successful

When you learn what works for your body and your lifestyle, and you have the tools and techniques to stick with it, you reach your goals.

You feel successful along the journey because you are living what you value.

#7 – This is a bonus reason because I just had, an hour ago, a conversation with a client and this reason came up – so I added it: 

You become a leader and influencer for good in those around you.

This client was waiting on the inspiration to make changes to come from his circle of family and friends.  I challenged him “Think about who you want to be.  Do you want to be the person who waits to be led or do you want to lead?  Do you want to be influenced or do you want to influence?”  I challenge you, too.  When you find your path to Thrive, you will inspire others to do the same.

This is what finding your path to THRIVE brings you.  It is one of the most amazing adventures you’ll ever go on.

Go here to check out my newest course, so you can THRIVE in your LIFE.  (We start in a few days.)